1. |
Do You
04:08
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What is the big deal?
We haven’t spoken since I crossed the border
Were you expecting a handwritten letter like the one you sent to Jacob
Right before we lost him for a while?
You don’t know me, do you, really?
It’s okay, pardon me, I’ll take the blame
For all these years of shame
It’s okay, it’s on my name
I moved to the city and I didn’t come out
I wish I could tell you what that is about
But you don’t want to hear it and you don’t want to be near it, do you?
I moved to the city and I didn’t come out
I wish I could tell you what that is about
But you don’t want to hear it and you don’t want to be near it, do you, really? Do you
Is it so uncommon to forget to dot your little i’s and cross your little t’s until everything looks like an egocentric ‘I’, look at what you have done to me, me, me, me, me, misery
I’m disgusted and entranced, dancing in the sickness of it
You don’t know me, do you, really?
It’s okay, pardon me, I’ll take the blame
For all these years of shame
It’s okay, it’s on my name
I moved to the city and I didn’t come out
I wish I could tell you what that is about
But you don’t want to hear it and you don’t want to be near it, do you?
I moved to the city and I didn’t come out
I wish I could tell you what that is about
But you don’t want to face it and I don’t want to explain it to you
I moved to the city and I didn’t come out
I wish I could tell you what that is about
But you don’t want to hear it and you don’t want to be near it, do you, really? Do you
I wish we could communicate
It just gets so hard to relate
I wish we could communicate
It just gets so hard to
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2. |
Dinah
02:49
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I met Dinah at the Bible study when I was eight years old
She was just a story to them, but to me she was more than they told
They said “Be God fearing, don’t be messing with those non-believing”
So I’ve been in the church making sure no one’s looking up my skirt
But I do not feel safe here
I wanna feel alive
Do you thrive knowing that our God favours you over me dear?
Dinah’s old man said he thought all of her girlfriends were whores
In the end she got exactly what she’d been searching for
When that man took her out for a spin
She said no but he did not listen
So I’ve been in the church making sure no one’s looking up my skirt
But I do not feel safe here
I wanna feel alive
Do you thrive knowing that our God favours you over me dear?
The same thing happened to me when I was only seventeen
Do you think I got what I deserved?
Do you think God's just trying to be seen?
By us non-believers? By us non-God fearers?
So I’ve been in the church making sure no one’s looking up my skirt
But I do not feel safe here
I wanna feel alive
Do you thrive knowing that our God favours you over me dear daddy?
Two witness rule, oh that’s cool
Go ahead and play the fool while I do not feel safe here
I’ve been in the church but the church is in my skirt
I’ve been in the church but the church is in my skirt
I’ve been in the church but the church is in my skirt
And my skirt defines my worth in the church
Dear daddy
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3. |
Two Years
03:29
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I’ve been wasting your time
But you don’t want to know it
Got the ball in my hands, I just don’t know where to throw it
It is cold where I’m laying, and where I’m laying is right beside you
It is cold where I’m laying, and where I’m laying is right beside you
One year
One year in
I tried to leave and you said “Baby, please let’s sink in to this new thing
I promise you’ll be loving me again”
But I’m
Still here
Staring at the wall, hoping I’ll see beyond it
But it’s never getting smaller than it is
You’re a beautiful man, but I’m trapped in this heaven
If the tables were turned
Would I lay you your exit out of my arms and into the prospect of another?
One year
One year in
I tried to leave and you said “Baby, please let’s sink in to this new thing
I promise you’ll be loving me again”
But I’m
Still here
Staring at the wall, hoping I’ll see beyond it
But it’s never getting smaller than it is
I’ll play this gently for you babe because I know that you don’t want to hear me say
I’ve been so happy since I booked my flight to leave you
I know you want me as I was
Laying in the sand
Playing with your hair
In the middle of November
Laying in the sand
Playing with your hair
Playing in the sand
Two years ago
Two years
Two years in
I tried to leave and you said “Baby, please let’s sink in to this new thing
I promise you’ll be loving me again”
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4. |
FOMO
03:30
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It gets dark early here
Flowers bloom on the other side of the sphere
I’ve got a fear of missing out
And I have it so severe
I am not myself
And I have not been all year
My bank account is not healthy
And neither is my sex life
I’ve never felt so lonely
With a person I’ve laid day by day beside
It is cold, even in the springtime
I wash our clothes, hang them out to dry
On the inside of our room
That we picked out for two
My bank account is not healthy
And neither is my sex life
I’ve never felt so lonely
With a person I’ve laid day by day beside
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5. |
Don't Kiss Me
04:04
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What age do you like me the best?
Right before I put you to the test?
Back when I absorbed everything you said?
What age do you like me the best?
Don’t kiss me
My safety should not have to be earned
I was just a baby until you made me into a lesson to be learned
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely don’t kiss me
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely don’t kiss me
I want to know, does it make you proud?
In an escalated version of self-consciousness
I wonder, do you see me now?
Do you see me now?
Don’t kiss me
My safety should not have to be earned
I was just a baby until you made me into a lesson to be learned
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely don’t kiss me
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely don’t kiss me
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely don’t kiss me
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely don’t kiss me
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely don’t kiss me
Sometimes my own body, doesn’t feel like my body
But definitely just leave me, to be on my own
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6. |
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Every time we speak I don’t want to hear the end of it
Months that follow, I’ll be hanging on to words
I hope that one day
You will release
All of yours fears
On top of me
And we’ll throw a party for your baby
I bet they’ll be great at dancing
We’ll go for walks
Collect tadpoles in the rain
Just like we did when we were the same age
And mum was selling Avon
We thought nothing was wrong
‘Til we grew into separate lounge rooms and so on
The years that divide us
The things that broke our trust
Snuck in whilst we played between God’s hall and our house
Still every time I look
I see you at the top of the driveway
In my purple dress
Every time we speak I don’t want to hear the end of it
Months that follow, I’ll be hanging on to words
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7. |
You're Gonna Be A Daddy
03:39
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Baby, you’re gonna be a daddy
I really want to be the cool aunty like I am to my best friend’s dog
Lately, I’ve had this worried feeling
Like time is gaining meaning without you in my life
I just want to get to know you
I just want to get to know you
Baby, I said I would protect you
But every time I’m meant to
I’m dressed up at the edge
I just want to get to know you
I just want to get to know you
You’re gonna be somebody’s dad and I’m gonna be on somebody’s platform
Playing songs that I wrote about you
But I don’t know anything
I don’t know anything
I don’t know anything
They’re gonna see right through me
Through me
Through me
Through me
I just want to get to know you
I just want to get to know you
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8. |
||||
It’s your birthday, and I’m screaming on the inside of my chest
It’s a nice day and I’d like it if you’d help me to take off my dress
I wish that you could love me the way I keep trying to
But I know that if it’s hard for me, it is probably hard for you
And you’ve said that you don’t like it when I make plans
So put that song on, the one we love that makes us sad
I’ll pretend I’m not going anywhere
Sometimes I sit and I wonder if I’ll know you in one year’s time
Maybe I’ll be in the country
Maybe we’ll still be drinking wine
But for now dear, it hurts too much for me to stay
So put that song on, the one we love and just press play
But for now dear, it hurts too much for me to stay
So put that song on, the one we love, that makes us sad
I’ll pretend I’m not going anywhere
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9. |
Surprises
04:04
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This weightless feeling doesn’t get me like it should
I keep on treading, but the water’s just not good
I still remember the fall at Casablanca
How karaoke never felt like much fun after
I wonder if you knew what you were going to do?
Surprises
Surprises
Work just like they should
You got me real good
You took something that you could not give back again
In your room, Auchenflower claimed a new bloom
And I still had a video of you singing on my phone
But by then, you had both tried to get on in
‘Til I was crying on your steps, humiliated by your friend
I wonder if you knew what you were going to do?
Surprises
Surprises
Work just like they should
You got me real good
You took something that you could
You took something that you could
You took something that you could not give back again
It’s odd to say
You were just a stranger, a stranger that I had met that day
I wonder if you knew that you would be bringing me years of shame
You were just a stranger, a stranger I met
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10. |
Scream
05:13
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Don’t meet me
If you aren’t gonna meet me equal parts of the way
Don’t say you miss me
If you aren’t gonna kiss me, it’s too hard to live this way
Whilst everybody else is sleeping in their beds
I’m speaking to myself to get the words out of my head
I want to scream
I want to scream
But everybody else is home
Even nine to fivers don’t live outside their doors
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore
Time is getting stranger
Resting like a baby, peering from its manger
If I have to leave you
Know that it’s because it’s hard not to be near you
Whilst everybody else is sleeping in their beds
I’m speaking to myself to get the words out of my head
I want to scream
I want to scream
But everybody else is home
Even nine to fivers don’t live outside their doors
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore
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